I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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