Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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