its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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