what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize