doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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