Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize