I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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