my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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