did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize