the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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