Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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