Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
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We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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