He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize