It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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