I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize