Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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