We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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