shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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