Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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