hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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