4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize