So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
being pregnant is like rehab
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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