Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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