he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize