We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
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He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
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She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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