Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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