He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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