i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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