He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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