Im at strip club and am horny
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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