Someone shit on the floor
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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