Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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