u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize