actually, I'm a sock model
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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