it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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