i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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