I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize