I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize