Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We are all done wearing pants today
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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