I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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