Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize