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Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
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