shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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