You're my little dorito
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize