I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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