i just google imaged poop.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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