I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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