Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize