Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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