Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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